apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
handjob tips. give me some.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
