that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
