Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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