You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
