Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
