Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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