how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
