Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
