i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
