I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
kristin has been a bad kristin
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize