your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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