I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
