Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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