Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
