U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This house was built for laser tag.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
