he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
