My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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