True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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