Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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