is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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