alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
