he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
