hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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