Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
