I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
