I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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