I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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