Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
