It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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