Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
