Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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