there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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