It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
