OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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