All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
