people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
