So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
