When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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