i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
