just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
