Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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