There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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