we made out on top of his cat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
