check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
