I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
