somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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