why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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