so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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