This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
