after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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