Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love having hate sex.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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