Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
