Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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