so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
