put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
