literally had 100 drinks last night.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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