It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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