You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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