So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Drunk is not a location!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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