He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
