Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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