Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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