so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
